Harris Burdick Mysteries: Another place, Another Time

Hey, other bloggers.
this is what I have been working on in class. it is a paragraph that I wrote from this picture.

As Atticus, Billy, Archie and Elizabeth were trying to Catch up to the train because they had mist it. the tracks stretched like a snake. a storm was about to hit them, Then lighting struck like a bullet but it hit the ocean . That was so close said Atticus anxiously, Come on lets, keep going Said Billy and so the went. They couldn’t see anything in the thick gloomy fog. Then Elizabeth pointed out in the fog “there’s the train!” But when they saw the train it was on its side in the ocean. So they went on to see there grand-parents but then they saw sharks hurtling towards them.

By Finn

8 thoughts on “Harris Burdick Mysteries: Another place, Another Time

  1. This story was thrilling to read, very spooky! Keep up the great writing. Your use of similes made the story even stronger, my favorite line was “then lighting struck like a bullet but it hit the ocean”. Great post Finn!

  2. Wow Finn, this was a very thrilling and intense story. I was on the edge of my seat reading it, wondering what was gonna happen next. I’m glad that Atticus, Billy, Archie, and Elizabeth caught the train but it is so sad to see that it fell in the ocean and that sharks are hurtling towards their grandparents. What happens next Finn? You can’t leave me hanging!!!

    • Hi, Zachary
      i’m not sure what going to happen next but maybe you can decide what happens next.
      have a GREAT day

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